Aniiee's inane ramblings

Annan tråd påminde mig om att jag måste göra en "nytt på streaming"-2024 lista.

Så, done. For now....

It's just a jump to the left... 

Better well equipped and out of coin than the other way around. 

It's the same old theme since 1916...

Maze Runner på svenska känns helskumt. Men uppläsaren är helt ok i alla fall. 

Även på ljudboks listan som jag läser just nu: Ronja Rövardotter och Vävarnas barn. 

Det finns....

Blå blå vindar och vatten
Blå blå himlar och hav
Blåblå känslor i natten
Det är fest med stillheten som gäst

JAG FICK EN GYLLENE SNUSMUMRIK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vet ni vad jag älskar: Svarta Augustinätter.....

OBS! Rook=Asriel, samma person....

__________________________________
Asriel didn't catch what Lucanis was saying just as he walked into the Lighthouse's library, but the silence between him and Emmerich was palpable.
"Sorry for the interruption", Asriel smiled as he passed the two, reaching for some books.
"No bother", Lucanis said, "We were..."
The Antivan was decidedly flustered. Should I be happy or worried, Asriel wondered.
"Discussing the post-mortem hazards of the Antivan Crow's penchant for poisoning", Emmerich put in smoothly. "Such fascinating implications. Many who tend the Grand Necropolis wouldn't know how to deal with it." Trust the mortalitasi to be both utterly charming and off-putting at the same time, Lucanis thought gratefully. 
"I see", Asriel said absentmindedly, pulling out a book. 
You don't believe a word of that, do you, my love, Lucanis thought. Too sharp for your own good sometimes.
Asriel, book in hand, headed towards the stairs leading up to his chambers but stopped at the foot of them. His voice was very quiet as he said:
"I have an errand to run in Arlathan Forest tomorrow. I would like for you both to join me."
"Of course, Rook", Emmerich said gently. Lucanis nodded, them realized Asriel was standing with his back to them. "Yes", he said hastily. "Of course."

The next morning, Asriel, Lucanis, and Emmerich met in front of the eluvian. The giant mirror reflected the dark room's gloom and the bright morning woodlands beyond, and it gave Lucanis the same strange sensation that looking at Asriel did. Asriel's grey coat with red and silver details was as austere and gloomy as the room they stood in, but his smile and his blue eyes were as bright as the morning beyond. Almost. Something was off.
"It's a long trek", Asriel said cheerfully, stepping through the mirror. "We won't be back before nightfall."
_________________________________________

Fortsättning följer...

The Veil Jumper's camp in the forest was still mostly asleep. The few in it who had started their day nodded, waved, and called their "good morning"s to Asriel. These were his people. The young mage responded to their greetings but jovially sidestepped any attempts to lengthier conversation. As he and his friends wandered deeper into the forest, leaving the camp and its people behind, Asriel grew quiet. Walking with some purpose, they reached a lake well past midday.

Ever attuned to the world's spirits and the feeling that was death, Emmerich let out a breath. This place felt akin to the Grand Necropolis. Familiar, but different. Death lingered here, not grand and majestic like there, but quiet, unassuming. By this beautiful lake in the forest, there was a keen sense of sorrow, loss, and longing. 
"Beautiful place", Lucanis said cautiously, studying Asriel's profile carefully. "But where are we?"
"This is where I died", Asriel replied, and there was nothing left of the jovial, cheerful young man from this morning.

The other two stared at him, Lucanis' heart pounding in his chest. With all they had seen in the last year, Asriel might actually mean it. 

"Rook..." Emmerich began, but Asriel cut him off.

"Not literally." Asriel stared out over the lake, the expression on his face a mix of sorrow and determination, as if he was steeling himself for a fight with a dragon. "After Varric recruited me and I had squared the thought of going up against one my own gods, I came here", he turned to Emmerich. "We talked once, briefly, about what I wanted to happen to me after my death. I said I hadn't thought about it, which is true in a fashion. I just always took for granted that the same would happen to me as has happened to everyone in my family for thousands of years", he turned back towards the lake, eyes burning with unshed tears. "Our bodies are burned, the ashes collected, and once we again pass this lake on our travels, those ashes are spread on the lake. It's what happened to my mother, to my father, to my older brother.

It is what I did when I came here last. I made an effigy of flowers, burned it, and let the ashes spread with the winds, across the lake." Lucanis' heart ached when he saw a tear make a trail down Asriel's cheek. He desperately wanted to reach out to him, comfort him. "Asriel Aldvir died", Asriel continued, "and I became Rook. And Rook I will be until this is over", he was fighting against tears now. "I don't believe I will ever see this place again."

For a long moment, they were quiet. A gust of wind came to them across the lake. Lucanis could swear he smelled smoke and wildflowers on it. He came to realize just then that that was what Asriel smelled like, wood smoke and wildflowers. And ice magic. And again his heart ached for this young man that he loved so dearly after such a short time of knowing him.

"If it comes to that", the mortalitasi said somberly, "I will see to it that you are brought here, to rest with your family."

Asriel didn't reply. More tears spilled down his pale cheeks. Lucanis wished hotly that Emmerich had been somewhere else.

"Come, Lucanis", Emmerich said. "Asriel needs some time." Was it the first time he had used Asriel's real name? Asriel couldn't remember. But rather than letting his friends leave him to his miserable reverie, he shook himself and said:
"No. I'm fine. Let's head back or we won't get home before midnight."

When the three men came back to the Lighthouse, it was closer to midnight than not. Emmerich and Lucanis headed off to the kitchen, but despite not having eaten all day, Asriel wasn't hungry. He returned to his chamber instead, and he just stood there, staring out the window, when Lucanis came. This whole day didn't sit right with Lucanis, he needed to figure this out. Figure Asriel out. He was about to reach out to him, when Asriel turned, buried his face against Lucanis' neck, and sobbed. 

"I'm not alright", he whispered. And then suddenly, he gave Lucanis a shove and shouted; "And it's your fault!"

The shove wasn't very hard, but the shock was all the greater. Lucanis took a step back, staring at the elf. Asriel's face was a mask of anguish, tears flowing freely down his cheeks. "Asriel, I...", Lucanis began, raising a hand in treatment, but Asriel wasn't finished. 

"I just wanted to die", he shouted. "I just wanted to raise my staff against a threat that I knew I could not overcome, and die knowing I had done something, anything, worth doing, and be something other than the child that killed his mother, other than an orphan who lost his father, a child who was a burden to his brother. Anything, anyone, other than poor, small, weak, sickly Asriel!"

Asriel paused, gasping for breath. He was pale as a spirit, his blue eyes seemed bluer than ever, shimmering with tears. Again, Lucanis reached for him, but again, Asriel spoke. Softer now, sobbing.

"So I smiled. So I was always alright. So no one needed to worry about me, no, really, Asriel is fine. Asriel encourages every one of his friends, always taking care of everybody. Asriel is such a diligent student, such a daring explorer, such a great leader. Just what we need to take on an ancient elven god. Be Rook, get a team together, fight the god, die, be at peace. And then you waltz in here and ruin it. Why did you ruin it, Lucanis? Why did you have to come and ruin it, why did you have to be the one thing in this world that made me believe for one moment that there might be something still worth living for?"

Lucanis stood for a long moment just staring at Asriel, love and sorrow aching in his chest. All this time, had he too only really seen Rook? Even in their love, even as he had started calling Asriel by his real name, Asriel had been hidden under Rook. Always smiling, always encouraging, always optimistic, to the point of naive. Always keeping everyone at arm's length. Always avoiding putting too much focus on himself. Always slightly aloof... Except, also, always true. Lucanis knew, in his heart, that this, the Asriel that now stood there, the anguish on his face exchanged for weary defeat, was the same man he had fallen in love with. He had seen glimpses of this Asriel before, and he loved him all the more for it.

He raised his hand again, and this time, Asriel took a step towards him. Lucanis grabbed him and pulled him into his arms. Strong, warm Lucanis, Asriel thought. Strong, warm, smelling warm of coffee and salty winds. 
"I see you, Asriel", Lucanis murmured, fingers gently starting to pull apart Asriel's dark red braid.

Why, thank you =)

Kör skiten genom google translate om du behöver. Det funkar ok. 

Det finns en början på sätt och vis. Detta är definitiv en bra bit in i historien. Men detta är lätt frustrerad fan fiction, så jag kan inte ta credd för den biten.

Jäkla autocorrect. 

I tredje stycket ska det stå "raised a hand in ENtreatment". 

Tack för att ni läste, och att ni tycker om mitt "språk".

Och självklart är alla tankar, åsikter och analyser välkomna =p