Om en kvinna är lite intresserad kan hon ge signaler som män reagerar på men inte fattar att det är signaler, det är som att vara hungrig på godis i tre veckor men när man ser en skylt som det står "Godis" på har män ändå inte en blekaste aning om vad som lockade in en i godisbutiken.
Kvinnor skickar signaler som lurar män att visa om de är intresserade eller inte, män har som vanligt inte fattat att de har agerat på signaler.
Män ser signaler som inte finns.
En kvinna gör en studie om signaler som män inte fattar är signaler, en man läser studien och skriver i en artikel "Dessa signaler kan mannen lätt misstolka..."
The Flirting Report
Kate Fox, Social Issues Research Centre, 2004
www.sirc.org/publik/advanced_flirting.shtml
Primeval flirting patterns
Anthropologists have found that flirting follows universal patterns. From London night-clubs and New York singles bars to the highlands of New Guinea and the Amazonian jungle, people use the same flirtatious body language. Human flirtation involves sequences of gestures and expressions not unlike the 'courtship dances' of birds and other animals that we see on wildlife programmes. Characteristic features of the human flirtation sequence include what ethologists call the 'copulatory gaze' (intense eye contact), the smile, body synchrony, female coy looks and head-tossing, and male chest-thrusting.
Contrary to popular opinion, researchers have found that two thirds of these flirtation sequences are initiated by women.In this respect, human behaviour is again similar to that of other species. Chimpanzee females, for example, actively solicit sex with males, going so far as to pull a resting male to his feet and insist on copulation. This is known as 'female proceptivity'. Among humans, female proceptivity is much more subtle: in fact,
female solicitation is done so unobtrusively that most people think that men take the initiative in sexual advances. Women use subtle non-verbal cues to initiate the courtship sequence, but these signals are so discreet that men are not consciously aware of them, and usually believe that they have made the first move.
When the biologist Timothy Perper, who studied pick-ups in American singles bars, asked men to describe the pick-up sequences he had observed, all but three of his many interviewees left out the initial parts of the sequence, where the woman had been sending out up to 52 different varieties of non-verbal signal, and spoke only about what they themselves had done. Other studies also indicate that men are not consciously aware of female seductive signals, although they clearly respond.
Optimistic males
Some of the 'crossed wires' of flirting, however, may stem from more deep-seated contradictions. Misunderstandings can arise, for example, from the fact that men tend to mistake women's friendliness for sexual interest. In fact, research has shown that men are inclined to interpret almost any positive female behaviour as a sign of sexual availability.
This excessive optimism may seem irrational, but it has an important evolutionary adaptive function: if males were not optimistic about their chances, they would lack motivation to attempt sexual intercourse with females and spread their genes. The more optimistic of our male ancestors tried more often, by the law of averages succeeded more often, and produced more offspring.
[...]
Deceptive females
More recent research has, however, revealed another reason why men may overestimate female sexual interest. A study published in the journal Evolution and Human Behaviour found that women send highly ambiguous, deceptive signals, particularly in the first minute of an encounter with a male.
This is described by the researchers as a form of 'Protean' behaviour - named after the mythical Greek river-god Proteus, who evaded capture by his enemies by constantly and unpredictably changing his physical form, disguising himself as an animal, plant, cloud or tree. Women, albeit unconsciously, send unpredictable, misleading signals to 'trick' men into revealing more of their real intentions than they would otherwise do. This is because women (historically, genetically) have more to lose from making a poor choice of sexual partner than men, as they have a higher investment of time, energy and resources in the offspring of such matings.
Women, according to the researchers, have evolved subliminal control strategies to manipulate men into revealing information about their mating interests and intentions, without the men being consciously aware of the signals involved. By sending erratic and ambiguous 'Protean' signals in the early stages of an encounter, women manipulate men into 'showing their hand' - expressing their interests and intentions verbally - allowing the female to evaluate the male's suitability as a potential mate.
It is perhaps not entirely surprising, given the levels of ambiguity and deception to which they are subjected, that males of the species tend to become confused. The researchers conclude that female 'Protean' behaviour "may result in men's overestimation of female sexual interest."
